You have to make your own way in this life. Do not let anyone tell you how you should act talk and live. You have to listen to your heart. You have to know what is in your heart and if you do not know then you must search until you find it. All of us have a calling. All of us have a meaning. All of us have a purpose. You have to dig deep to find out what that purpose is and what we are suppose to be doing in this mortal life of ours. You have this one chance and you must listen to the calling of the heart. You have to take the blinders off and see what is real. Strip away the way you were raised and begin anew. Live your calling. You will know it when you are confronted by it.
I am a vessel I bring people and things together. I can make things happen. I want no credit for what I may do in this life.That is not my calling. I must do what my heart tells me. This is what my purpose tells me. You must have love and purity of heart to forge on. I have few friends and I want few friends. My purpose is well defined. I am not a religious person. This has nothing to do with religion. It is much higher than that. I can make things happen and I will make things happen. For all of you that followe me........BELIEVE...

Christmas Presents from NPD Mother

Well Merry Christmas!!!!!!! From my NPD mother...I was so lucky to get a "butter boy", "nana saver" and a calendar that was given to her from the Children's Cancer Society. Took a lot of thought to give these gives that came from so deep within her heart....my reaction...I laughed...and laughed.....just trying to slap me in the face or make me feel bad and Guess what? It didn't work. Life did not stop and it went on was much happier because I was not around her. Been 5 1/2 months...no contact..and not regretting it. Anyone out there that can use a butter boy or nana saver??? Sorry but I threw away the calendar already..If she was trying to make me sad...or upset...It did not work! My mission was accomplished but her mission failed!!!!
Denver

STRESS

Feeling a lot of stress this holiday season. This is the first Christmas that I will not be around my NPD , suck up brother and sister-in-law and my son. The hardest part is not being around my son. So hubby and I have been at each other throats. He is trying to act like someone that he is not and being very disrespectful to me. I ended up going into the bedroom and falling asleep at 8 and slept until 6 a.m. I needed the rest and needed to be away from him.
He did replace the radiator cap and the front driver's side headlight on my vehicle. He also pulled up the hole in the shed so that darn wayward cat can't get in there.
This morning I let him know that talking or joking about our sex life to anyone is very disrespectful and I would appreciate it if not do this anymore. He told me that he wouldn't do this anymore. This is not like him but since we have company he is trying to show off and degrading me is not going to be an acceptable form of amusement.
So today I am off to get the hair cut and taking my grand doggy to get her nails clipped. My son let her nails get too long.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

December 18th, 2009

Today is Friday Dec...18th...2009.
My mother and brother and sister-in-law had my son drop off Christmas presents since I refuse to go to my mother's house. It was nice of them to give us some gifts but it does not have the same meaning it did when my Dad was alive. It seems like they are doing it because it is something that they are suppose to do not something that they want to do.
Life is changing around me. I have great friends and other non-toxic family members and 2 of course my wonderful dogs.
Going to Texas this year from Christmas. Gong to be with my husband's family. My mother-in-law is getting up in years and she deserves to have her whole family around her at Christmas. We are bringing my step-son back from Texas. I have had problems with him in the past but it is the past and since I now know what I am dealing with with my mother I have come to understand why I was angry for so many years. I am becoming the person that I want to be. I am a worthwhile, caring, decent human being that has a great capacity for compassion and love. My mother is a mean, hateful, vengeful, unhappy being. I am not her scapegoat anymore. She will have to find a new one now because this one is moving on.
I went No Contact July 14, 2009 and have no plans to change that.
Life does not have to be miserable and I am determined to make it as happy as I can.
Denver

Do you have one?

Angry parent or parents??? Do you have one. I do and her name is Mom. She is 77 years old now and dealing with her is like dealing with a 7 years old. I believe that she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and I believe that she has had this disorder since I was very young. I have spent a lot of time reading about this disorder and it is true what they say knowledge is power. The more I learn the more I feel better about myself and the better I feel about myself the happier I am.
This blog is about my trails and tribulations with toxic mom and other toxic people in and out of my life. This is therapy for me.
I have run into many people that have a parent like I have yet did not know that there were actually other people out there going through the same thing. I am trying to get people to blog about the toxic people in our lives with mental health issues.
I encourge you to share your thoughts, offer hope to other people or just vent. I just ask that you not use extreme profanity. I like to swear like a truck driver but not on my blog please.